HSP

During the times when I was depressed I tried to find reasons for my situation, I didn't want to be stuck being the way I was, so I tried to find out myself why I was struck by my mood swings, what could be the reason for me not wanting to get out of bed, for feeling down, for crying almost every day. I googled and read a lot about Depression, what could be reasons someone develops a Depression, how being physically sick for such a long time could have influenced it, if there are also reasons in my past, in the way I grew up, if my parents and their behavior towards me played a part in it, too.

When I googled I came across something else that was very interesting and struck a chord with me. Not only because it was something concerning me, but I also realized it might be something that concerned my son, because I had noticed his behavior was a little different than the one I remembered from his older sister and it seemed he was more sensitive, he felt pain a lot more, he started crying easily, it was hard to calm him down and other things. I read about AD(H)D and came across something called HSP.

HSP is the short form of "highly sensitive person". HSP is something that has not been researched a lot but is gaining popularity during the last few years. The first time HSP was mentioned was in 1996 by Dr. Elaine N. Aron who had been doing research about differences in behavior for a few years prior. As I can't write down all the things about it I will link you to Wiki for it, you can find everything about it here. Also if you are interested, Dr. Aron's website can be found here.

Someone who is an HSP is overly sensitive to stimulation around them (stimulation can be any impulse or sensation or feeling). HSPs tend to be easily overwhelmed by lights, sounds, smells or a hectic environment, also when they are asked to do a lot of things at once or if there is more than one problem that needs to be solved at the same time. They need to withdraw from situation that are too overwhelming to feel better, which often means they withdraw to a dark room or a quiet place to come down to find relief.

HSPs often pay a lot of attention to subleties, they are very empathetic, they can notice a change in the mood of others quickly and try to help those around them if they can. HSPs put a lot more effort into their thoughts, trying to shine a light on any possible outcome of the situation they or others are in. They reflect more thoroughly on the past. They also tend to ask for a lot of opinions from people they trust before making a decision.

All these traits make out an HSP. Most of these are not very useful in a world where everything is loud and fast and people pay more attention to materialistic values instead of emotional worth. Which is why a lot of HSP try to fit into this environment so no one notices they are different, they jump trough hoops to fit in and in the meantime are totally overwhelmed and unable to cope with it. They feel out of place because they don't fit in and try to find the fault in themselves because everyone else seems to be "normal" while they are "weird" or "different".

I have been told by a few people that it my way of coping with emotional things is not normal, it takes a lot of time for me to overcome something that makes me sad, I always need to reflect on it very long, trying to find out what happened and why it happened and if there was a point when I could have changed the outcome. I always need a lot of time to overcome situations where I had a fight with someone or if I lose a friend. Heck, I lost the love of my life 14 years ago because I was so stupid to let him go and he was too stupid to forgive me and I still struggle with the "hows" and "whys". Same with meeting him again last year and everything that happened and I still don't understand why exactly he behaves the way he does. Most people tell me "he just does, why the hell do you need a reason for it...get over it and move on, not everything needs an explanation"

Guess what, for me it does or it is not finished and it is upsetting and disturbing my life because my emotions can't cope with it.

I am an HSP and I am trying to find the best way to live with it right now!

Would love to hear from you if and how you can relate.

Irene

P.S. for all my German Readers, here is the link to the first few Chapters of an interesting book I came across about HSP. It is called "Zart besaitet"...go here to find it.