Work

I've had the discussion about whether or not housework is really work with my hubby a few times and yesterday I was again reminded that housework is not really considered work by him. It was his first day back to working after our vacation and naturally there is a lot to catch up with. He still wasn't feeling 100% back to normal after being so sick last week so catching up with some 100 emails and stuff went a little slow. As Fynn is home on mondays I couldn't really get a lot done in the house because he was constantly disturbing me, doing things he wasn't supposed to, throwing toys or wanted my attention. I usually would start something and had to stop after a few minutes, start/continue and repeat that a few times. Also a friend had said she would stop by after work to catch up and hear how our vacation was and I wanted to be done with everything by then which proved to be impossible.

Well, I wasn't finished with cleaning and stuff and barely finished the cupcakes I had baked and also the kids were really annoying when she came. It was around 5 pm and hubby was supposed to be finished with work also. Well, he came upstairs (he is working in his home-office in the basement) to watch the kids for a while so we could talk and I had thought that he would go on to play with them so I could finish my work but as soon as my friend left he went back downstairs telling me he wasn't finished (and his work is far more important than mine!) and I could do my work while watching the kids.

Don't get me wrong, I know he is the one earning money, he has important meetings, phone conferences, calls from the customer and deadlines to meet. But I also have work to do, and I also would like to be able to do it in one session without being disturbed 100 times. Just imagine how really annoying it is when a simple job like sorting dirty laundry, putting it in a basket, taking it to the laundry room and putting it in the washer doesn't take 10 minutes but two hours because:
a) right after you started sorting laundry your son throws a toy down the stairs and starts crying because you closed the safety guard so he wouldn't fall down the stairs and he can't get it back,
b) once you put the laundry in the basket he cries because he stumbled over said toy which is lying on the floor instead of the table and hit his head on a chair
c) while you are downstairs putting the laundry in the washer he tries to get some juice and spills half the bottle of sticky orange juice on the table and floor (good thing you didn't turn on the washer yet, you can just throw his wet clothes in there too)
d) turning on the washer has to wait until you cleaned up the mess and eventuelly you get distracted enough to forget about it alltogether and suddenly realise you haven't turned it on around 9:30 pm when you sit on the couch trying to relax a little. Which makes you cringe because you have something in there that needs to be clean the next day and the washer needs about 1 1/2 hours to finish. Which obviously means you have to stay up until 11 to be able to either hang up laundry or put it in the dryer once the washer is finished (and you had planed to go to bed early that day).

I honestly forget my laundry a lot, not the "turning it on"part but turning it off and putting it in the dryer, so my dryer usually runs late at night while I sleep.

But back to comparing work and housework. There is a song in Germany "Das bißchen Haushalt macht soch doch von selbst sagt mein Mann, das bißchen Haushalt ist doch kein Problem" which basically translates to "that little bit of housework is doing itself says my husband, that little bit of houswork is not a problem" (sorry for the bad word by word translation). That basically sums up what most men think about housework. I remember my mom telling me that my dad once said how she can count herself lucky for being able to meet her girlfriends for coffee every morning and that she can sit in front of the TV all day and doesn't have to hurry because of any meetings or deadlines. YEAH, right!

Being a mom is a 24/7 Job, your kids don't care if it is 3 am, if they wake up and are thirsty you have to bring them water otherwise they will yell and cry and wake up the whole house, if they decided to get sick and throw up at 10 pm you have to hurry and clean up and turn on a load of laundry (good thing you forgot to turn it on earlier so you don't just have a pair of sheets and some pyjamas alone in there). In the morning you have to take care not only of your own outfit but also 1/2/3 others so no one runs around with dirty socks or in short sleeves when it is snowing outside, you always have to pack more than just your own suitcase when going on vacation, when eating you have to watch them so they don't play with or throw their food or feed them. You hurry to daycare, then grocery shopping, then maybe the dentist for your own yearly checkup (already about 3 months too late but oh well), back to pick up one kid from daycare, put it down for a nap, try to do as much as possible in those 2 hours (laundry, cleaning, having a coffee and the first real food that day), wake up the kid, get the other one from daycare, make snacks, play, comfort them when they cry after fighting over toys...now it is around 5 pm and you haven't really been able to sit down or had a decent conversation with someone your age.

I talk a lot during the day but most of the time it is talking to a 4 and a 2 year old, which I wouldn't consider "grown-up" conversation. Yes, some talks are serious business, like explaining why you a little plastic horse should not be showed down someones throat, that you don't hit your brother on the head because he touched your favourite Barbie or that addressing your sister with "stupid Jenny give me that" is not an appropriate way to talk to family members. So in the evening I just want to have an adult conversation with my husband, who in turn has had a lot of adult conversations with colleagues and customers during the day already and doesn't feel like talking or listening at all anymore.

I really love my husband (and my kids) but I honestly wish he would realise how much work I do and how hard it is some days. Oh, and the most important thing (which is the point that is mostly annoying me):

a) i don't get paid for any of my work (I mean moneywise - not being rewarded with a smile and a picture my daughter painted for me)
b) I don't get any constructive emails or get praised by anyone when I do good work, most of the time I don't even get a "thank you"

That is really frustrating me!!

Irene